Chronic Illnesses · Endometriosis · Fibromylagia · Hypothyroidism

Struggling with the Reality of Chronic Illness

Hello Beauties, 

It’s been a while since I wrote about chronic health and I figured it’s time to dive into another post about that. 

I have been using CBD oil for several months now, and through using that I’ve been able to completely get off the anti-depressant I was on. This feels good, but I just had labs done and got the results back today and I feel a bit defeated with the results. 

I was hoping that using the CBD oil would help boost my labs and show good results. But no, my hormones are still way out of whack. My thyroid panel seems to indicate that I really may have an autoimmune issue going on. OBVIOUSLY! I am not a dr but I do know how to research and how to weed out the bad information and find the good solid information. 

I had a dream a few weeks ago about my primary care doctor leaving the practice she works at. Not even 12 hours later, I got a phone call from her assistant confirming the labs I had requested and to tell me that my doctor was leaving the practice. I’ve really been wrestling with this, especially since this is the first doctor who has really heard me and listened to my symptoms. It was because of her that my extremely sick gallbladder was caught before I got deathly ill. It was because of her that I shifted my way of eating and cut out gluten, losing a significant amount of weight due to diminished inflammation. It was because of her my thyroid issues and hormonal imbalances were discovered and then acted upon. 

It’s really hard to be facing a probably disruptive shift in the management of my health by a professional. I have a report with her and she knows my medical history. I trust her, and I loathe having to meet new doctors who don’t know anything about me. It’s exhausting to have to go over my full medical history yet again. Ya know, that 6 page list of symptoms that got me diagnosed with hypothyroidism was only scratching the surface of what I’ve dealt with for a very long time. 

I am not feeling very well today. I ran out of my thyroid medication last Wednesday, then wasn’t able to get it refilled because my pharmacy ran out and didn’t get anything in until the following Monday. That was 5 days of being out of thyroid medication and I started to feel extremely sick and am still feeling wiped out and run down physically even though I was able to get meds again on this past Monday. 

I had have a running theory for a few months now that my hormonal imbalances are the worst during ovulation. And I believe this month has been double confirmation of my theory. I believe my endometriosis flares up the most during ovulation instead of during menstruation. And I don’t really know what to do about that. I don’t really know where to go from here. My body feels better in some regards, but I feel right on the verge of getting a cold and everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – just rushing downhill. I know that if I do get sick, my EBV and CMV (chronic Epstein-Barr and Cytomegalovirus) will flare up instantly. I still have the bottle of EBV drops in my medicine cabinet, ready to start taking them at the first time of feeling ill. 

I think the biggest emotion I’m feeling right now is a strange disappointment. I had really truly hoped that the CBD oil would have helped a lot more with my thyroid and hormones. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. Or maybe it is going to take a lot longer to get results because my body has been so screwed up for so long. 

Not being able to take my thyroid medication for almost a week really messed a lot of things up I think. Because I was actually feeling really decent up till not being able to take it. I even started a new multivitamin and after tweaking the dosage, have been feeling pretty good taking it. I discovered that if I take a full dose, the Niacin in the multivitamin makes me have really bad hot flashes. But taking a half dose has gotten rid of that issue. 

I see my doctor tomorrow and I have questions for her. First and foremost, asking for a recommendation of where to go from here since she’s leaving. But we’ll see. I guess I’m just not in a very good place mentally right now about the physical state of my body.

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